We entertain a lot. And I use the term "entertain" loosely. I actually mean that there are people at our house a lot. I'm sure they leave entertained, although not in the way I wish. If "entertained" means they go home saying something like, "wow, those Nethertons are wierd, " then yes, we entertain. If "entertain" means people come to a clean, calm, quiet atmosphere with candles lit and a savory dinner ready to be served along with intelligent and stimulating conversation, then no, we do not entertain.
When we have people over I always have visions of an evening as described above. That never happens. The food is never ready on time because I'm always running behind. I never look nice because I'm usually sweating. The house is most likely somewhat disastrous because Patience likes to get out all of her toys at the same time and not actually play with any of them. Someone will probably be crying. Patience, Benaiah, me. Not usually Ben. I will probably not answer the door because I'm stirring something while holding Benaiah and telling Patience to put her clothes back on before our company arrives. I'll yell at you to come on in, help yourself to a drink, and could you hold the baby a sec while I go make sure my clothes are all on right side out? The other day at about three in the afternoon I noticed that my shirt was on wrong side out. Luckily we had no company.
Now, don't get me wrong. It isn't TOTAL chaos. I do keep the house pretty picked up, I play background music, and yes, I like to burn some candles. And I set the table nicely, we use cloth napkins, and Patience is expected to sit still until all the adults are done eating. So there's some semblance of niceness. I just never quite make things as nice as I'd like to.
I guess part of the reason I feel chaotic is because we have A LOT of drop-in company. One day I had four different people stop by to visit. Hence the reason I ALWAYS have a pitcher of sweet tea in the fridge. It would be tragic if I nothing to offer but water. I believe there are two main reasons for this:
1) We live on the highway were everyone in the community drives by our house all the time and they can see if we're home. More often than not, they stop by.
2) I'm a stay-at-home mom. I think that makes people more likely to stop by because, well, I'm home!
I've been to people's houses where everything honestly seems perfect. The house is immaculate, the hostess is wearing a lovely dress while pulling an elaborate dish from the oven in a kitchen that's so clean it doesn't even look like she cooked in it. And I'm standing there thinking, "What the crap? How does she do this? She's even got lipstick on! I bet she even put on deoderant and brushed her teeth today!" And to top it all off, everything just seems effortless.
On the one hand, its nice to be in an environment like that. Clean. Organized. Relaxing. Sometimes it even inspires me to kick it up a notch at home and try to do things a little nicer for the sake of my own guests. But more often than not it seems to leave me feeling...inadequate. Dissatisfied. Jealous, even. And I don't like that. Not that its the lovely hostess's fault that I feel that way. Its my own fault.
I guess what I'm saying is that I just want people to feel welcome and at home in our house. I want them to feel like they're part of the family. I want them to feel included in our daily life. I don't want them to feel like I'm showing off for them in any way. Not that people who have clean kitchens and wear their clothes right side out are showing off. That's not what I mean at all. Wow, I'm not very articulate this evening. Its late. I should've been in bed hours ago. And I just realized that I'm now to the point in my career as a mother where I think brushing one's teeth is showing off. This is sad. Very sad. No wonder most people like me and aren't jealous and like coming to my house. I just figured it out! I make them feel better about themselves because I'm such a disaster! Its like the skinny girl in high school who hangs out with the fat girls so she'll look even better! Same thing, only with motherhood its things like getting dressed and maybe fixing your hair and brushing your teeth and wearing deoderant. I didn't do any of that today. Should I even post this?
I totally forgot what my point was.
I'm going to bed.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Pare a Pear with a Pair of Scissors
The other day I was all depressed and down on myself because I didn't have any fall decorations. Well, that's not entirely true. I have a pumpkin wreath on the front porch, a couple of mums in the front flower bed (which sat there for like 2 weeks before I finally planted them) and three small pumpkins strategically scattered along the porch steps. And I didn't even do the strategic scattering of the pumpkins. Ben did, because I bought the pumpkins and left them in the trunk of the car where he found them several days later and proceeded to strategically scatter them. He did a very nice job.
Pumpkins and mums, that's all I've got. Oh, I had a bowl of candy corn. That lasted about a day because Ben and I have no self-discipline when it comes to sweets. None at all. Its why I'm chubby. I admit it. Anyway, no scarecrows, no brightly colored leaf garland, no quaint wooden bowls filled with Indian corn and gourds. No berry swags or pine cone wreaths or fall-themed serving dishes and table linens. I don't even have leaf-shaped napkin rings, can you believe it? I was really depressed about it. Felt like I was somehow failing as a housewife and mother because I had not yet iced any pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies, created any outdoor lighting out of elaborately carved pumpkins, or hollwed out a pumpkin and planted flowers in it. All things I would really like to do, by the way. So I spent an hour online looking up fall decorating ideas and got even more depressed.
Well, I said to myself, I'm not going to spend the money on fall decorations, and even if I felt like I could spend the money its too far to drive into town for any of that stuff today. Maybe next week I'll do some of that cutesy creative stuff in between naps and changing diapers and laundry and grocery shopping and getting supper on the table and kids bathed and in bed on time. And spending time with my husband, friends and family, going to church and playing with my children. Oh, and sometimes I sleep and shower, too. If there's time. Of course, I said to myself, of course you will get to hollow out miniature pumkins and make taper candle holders out of them. But right now you have things to do.
I turned my attention to the more immediate problem of dealing with the bushels of pears we had recently picked from our heavily laden pear tree. I had pears spilling out of baskets on the little table in the living room and bowls overflowing with pears on the kitchen table. I settled Benaiah in his bouncy seat, made sure Patience wasn't destroying anything, pulled a chair up to kitchen table and started peeling pears. Again. I've peeled a lot of pears lately. The result has been 25 jars of pear butter and 6 pear pies.
I peeled pears, talked to Patience and Benaiah, peeled more pears and thought about how I wished my house was decorated for fall. Then a knock came at the door. I wiped my hands and went to see who was there. It was my friend Martha, dropping by to pick something up. As I went to get if for her I made a remark about peeling all these pears.
She stopped and looked around.
"Oh!" she said. "I thought you had them there for decoration!"
Perhaps I shouldn't worry so much about fall decorations. Sometimes life has a way of decorating itself.
Pumpkins and mums, that's all I've got. Oh, I had a bowl of candy corn. That lasted about a day because Ben and I have no self-discipline when it comes to sweets. None at all. Its why I'm chubby. I admit it. Anyway, no scarecrows, no brightly colored leaf garland, no quaint wooden bowls filled with Indian corn and gourds. No berry swags or pine cone wreaths or fall-themed serving dishes and table linens. I don't even have leaf-shaped napkin rings, can you believe it? I was really depressed about it. Felt like I was somehow failing as a housewife and mother because I had not yet iced any pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies, created any outdoor lighting out of elaborately carved pumpkins, or hollwed out a pumpkin and planted flowers in it. All things I would really like to do, by the way. So I spent an hour online looking up fall decorating ideas and got even more depressed.
Well, I said to myself, I'm not going to spend the money on fall decorations, and even if I felt like I could spend the money its too far to drive into town for any of that stuff today. Maybe next week I'll do some of that cutesy creative stuff in between naps and changing diapers and laundry and grocery shopping and getting supper on the table and kids bathed and in bed on time. And spending time with my husband, friends and family, going to church and playing with my children. Oh, and sometimes I sleep and shower, too. If there's time. Of course, I said to myself, of course you will get to hollow out miniature pumkins and make taper candle holders out of them. But right now you have things to do.
I turned my attention to the more immediate problem of dealing with the bushels of pears we had recently picked from our heavily laden pear tree. I had pears spilling out of baskets on the little table in the living room and bowls overflowing with pears on the kitchen table. I settled Benaiah in his bouncy seat, made sure Patience wasn't destroying anything, pulled a chair up to kitchen table and started peeling pears. Again. I've peeled a lot of pears lately. The result has been 25 jars of pear butter and 6 pear pies.
I peeled pears, talked to Patience and Benaiah, peeled more pears and thought about how I wished my house was decorated for fall. Then a knock came at the door. I wiped my hands and went to see who was there. It was my friend Martha, dropping by to pick something up. As I went to get if for her I made a remark about peeling all these pears.
She stopped and looked around.
"Oh!" she said. "I thought you had them there for decoration!"
Perhaps I shouldn't worry so much about fall decorations. Sometimes life has a way of decorating itself.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Long Time, No Blog!
I haven't blogged in a long time. In about four months, actually. There are many reasons for this. Here we go:
1) I got really huge, miserably pregnant and totally lost interest in anything other than getting the baby out of my body. I was so large and uncomfortable that I basically quit doing anything that involved movement of any kind. How, you ask, does blogging involve movement? Well, it doesn't, but I couldn't hold the laptop in my lap because I had no lap, and sitting at the table was just uncomfortable, especially since I couldn't scoot up very close due to the largeness of the belly. It was a bad time, guys.
2) I had a baby. I really huge baby. A ten pound baby. Naturally. With no medicine. Why, you ask, did you do that? Because at the time I thought it would be cool. Because I did it when I birthed my daughter. But she didn't weigh ten pounds. Because I thought it would make me feel like super-woman. Because when I went in to be induced (he was 9 days overdue) I didn't know that my baby was turned sideways and they would have to manually turn him inside the womb. >>WARNING TO PREGNANT WOMEN. DO NOT EVER, EVER, ALLOW A BABY TO BE MANUALLY TURNED WHILE IN THE WOMB. IT IS A HORRIBLE AND INCREDIBLY PAINFUL EXPERIENCE. IF A DOCTOR WANTS TO DO IT, PLEASE CALL ME FOR A SECOND OPINION. THANK YOU.<< Because I didn't know that it would be a really long, really painful labor and that I would have to push for two hours to get him out and I really didn't think I was going to be able to do it. Please do not ask me if I am having more children. I am still trying to recover emotionally from birthing this one. Although he is pretty darn cute:
1) I got really huge, miserably pregnant and totally lost interest in anything other than getting the baby out of my body. I was so large and uncomfortable that I basically quit doing anything that involved movement of any kind. How, you ask, does blogging involve movement? Well, it doesn't, but I couldn't hold the laptop in my lap because I had no lap, and sitting at the table was just uncomfortable, especially since I couldn't scoot up very close due to the largeness of the belly. It was a bad time, guys.
2) I had a baby. I really huge baby. A ten pound baby. Naturally. With no medicine. Why, you ask, did you do that? Because at the time I thought it would be cool. Because I did it when I birthed my daughter. But she didn't weigh ten pounds. Because I thought it would make me feel like super-woman. Because when I went in to be induced (he was 9 days overdue) I didn't know that my baby was turned sideways and they would have to manually turn him inside the womb. >>WARNING TO PREGNANT WOMEN. DO NOT EVER, EVER, ALLOW A BABY TO BE MANUALLY TURNED WHILE IN THE WOMB. IT IS A HORRIBLE AND INCREDIBLY PAINFUL EXPERIENCE. IF A DOCTOR WANTS TO DO IT, PLEASE CALL ME FOR A SECOND OPINION. THANK YOU.<< Because I didn't know that it would be a really long, really painful labor and that I would have to push for two hours to get him out and I really didn't think I was going to be able to do it. Please do not ask me if I am having more children. I am still trying to recover emotionally from birthing this one. Although he is pretty darn cute:
Meet Benaiah Philip Netherton, born July 5th. He laughed for the first time today. Patience was bouncing all over the bed, showing off for him and he got really tickled at her. Brought tears to my eyes. But then again, everything brings tears to my eyes these days. The other day I made bread and Patience was standing on her little stool wearing her little apron helping me knead the dough. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes, grinned and said, "Mommy, looook! I hep you!" I snatched up my own apron and cried into it. Why, you ask? I have no idea.
3) My in-laws were here right after Benaiah was born, then we decided to remodel our bathroom so we went to stay with my parents for a few days, which turned into three weeks, then we went to Tucson to visit the Arizona relations, then one of Ben's friends came to stay with us for a couple of weeks, then I had a lot of catching up to do because I'd been pregnant and giving birth and away from home and it all just piled up and during all that time and ever since I've been deep in the throes of post-partum depression. So there. And yes, I am aware that that was a run-on sentence.
4) I started reading other people's blogs and got really depressed because I decided that mine kind of sucks. But I like writing, its good for me, and I need to keep doing it. Why, you ask, do you need to keep writing? Because I am an emotional disaster and I need a creative outlet so I don't just bottle everything up inside and then explode. That does happen from time to time. We need to keep those times to a minimum for the sake of the children. And Ben. And me, because after I explode I experience feeling of self-loathing. Its just better for everone if I write something now and then, okay?
Thank you for reading. My baby is cute.
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