We entertain a lot. And I use the term "entertain" loosely. I actually mean that there are people at our house a lot. I'm sure they leave entertained, although not in the way I wish. If "entertained" means they go home saying something like, "wow, those Nethertons are wierd, " then yes, we entertain. If "entertain" means people come to a clean, calm, quiet atmosphere with candles lit and a savory dinner ready to be served along with intelligent and stimulating conversation, then no, we do not entertain.
When we have people over I always have visions of an evening as described above. That never happens. The food is never ready on time because I'm always running behind. I never look nice because I'm usually sweating. The house is most likely somewhat disastrous because Patience likes to get out all of her toys at the same time and not actually play with any of them. Someone will probably be crying. Patience, Benaiah, me. Not usually Ben. I will probably not answer the door because I'm stirring something while holding Benaiah and telling Patience to put her clothes back on before our company arrives. I'll yell at you to come on in, help yourself to a drink, and could you hold the baby a sec while I go make sure my clothes are all on right side out? The other day at about three in the afternoon I noticed that my shirt was on wrong side out. Luckily we had no company.
Now, don't get me wrong. It isn't TOTAL chaos. I do keep the house pretty picked up, I play background music, and yes, I like to burn some candles. And I set the table nicely, we use cloth napkins, and Patience is expected to sit still until all the adults are done eating. So there's some semblance of niceness. I just never quite make things as nice as I'd like to.
I guess part of the reason I feel chaotic is because we have A LOT of drop-in company. One day I had four different people stop by to visit. Hence the reason I ALWAYS have a pitcher of sweet tea in the fridge. It would be tragic if I nothing to offer but water. I believe there are two main reasons for this:
1) We live on the highway were everyone in the community drives by our house all the time and they can see if we're home. More often than not, they stop by.
2) I'm a stay-at-home mom. I think that makes people more likely to stop by because, well, I'm home!
I've been to people's houses where everything honestly seems perfect. The house is immaculate, the hostess is wearing a lovely dress while pulling an elaborate dish from the oven in a kitchen that's so clean it doesn't even look like she cooked in it. And I'm standing there thinking, "What the crap? How does she do this? She's even got lipstick on! I bet she even put on deoderant and brushed her teeth today!" And to top it all off, everything just seems effortless.
On the one hand, its nice to be in an environment like that. Clean. Organized. Relaxing. Sometimes it even inspires me to kick it up a notch at home and try to do things a little nicer for the sake of my own guests. But more often than not it seems to leave me feeling...inadequate. Dissatisfied. Jealous, even. And I don't like that. Not that its the lovely hostess's fault that I feel that way. Its my own fault.
I guess what I'm saying is that I just want people to feel welcome and at home in our house. I want them to feel like they're part of the family. I want them to feel included in our daily life. I don't want them to feel like I'm showing off for them in any way. Not that people who have clean kitchens and wear their clothes right side out are showing off. That's not what I mean at all. Wow, I'm not very articulate this evening. Its late. I should've been in bed hours ago. And I just realized that I'm now to the point in my career as a mother where I think brushing one's teeth is showing off. This is sad. Very sad. No wonder most people like me and aren't jealous and like coming to my house. I just figured it out! I make them feel better about themselves because I'm such a disaster! Its like the skinny girl in high school who hangs out with the fat girls so she'll look even better! Same thing, only with motherhood its things like getting dressed and maybe fixing your hair and brushing your teeth and wearing deoderant. I didn't do any of that today. Should I even post this?
I totally forgot what my point was.
I'm going to bed.
I got a shower today, then Benytt spilled the gallon of sugary sweet tea goodness all over the kitchen floor, and the pitcher broke, so I guess that cancels out the shower. Don't be jealous, my floor got mopped, but only because I had to.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your blogs. Such a hoot, and so down home. You have a real talent for words and getting them to say what you want the way you want. That's really a gift and you should never stop blogging.
ReplyDeleteSome day you can put them all together in a book and publish it and then go on "Live with Kelly and Michael" and promote it and make big bucks and travel all over the country and then come back to see us in your big limo. :)
And, I'd buy the thing, too, because I really like your writing.