It was lovely to meet her, see her beautiful Lodge and taste her delicious cooking. Really a wonderful experience. But the next day as I thought about the evening, I felt something ugly rearing it's head.
Jealousy.
I wish I was talented enough to have an award-winning website.
I wish I could take really good pictures.
I'm a decent cook, but I wish I was better.
I'm such a pathetic "country housewife" that I don't even have a garden planted yet.
I wish I was disciplined enough to write more.
I wish I was doing something cool with my life, like publishing cookbooks.
I wish I lived in a house where all the appliances are covered with beautiful wood and have barn-door handles so you don't even know they're there. I don't even have a dishwasher.
People like the Pioneer Woman always seem to have it all. And maybe they do. Maybe they really do have all the material things they want. Maybe their life really is easier. I don't know. I've never had that kind of life. I know I have a tendency to be discontent with my life, my circumstances and my surroundings.
I wish the linoleum wasn't peeling up in our kitchen floor.
I wish we had a garage so Ben wouldn't have to store so many tools in my laundry room, rendering it nearly useless.
I wish our house had gutters on it so I could actually build flower beds.
I wish I didn't have to sweep up mouse droppings. Every. Single. Day.
I wish our bathroom floor wasn't rotting out.
I wish our refrigerator didn't leak, forcing me to keep a dish towel on the floor at all times.
I wish our house had siding on it so it didn't look so junky.
But my goodness, does any of that really matter? No, it doesn't. I like luxury and convenience as much as the next person, but this evening as I played outside with Patience I started noticing so much beauty around me.
Like my blooming lavender:
And my lush, green mint:
And parsley is just so pretty. Even if you don't cook with it you should grow some:
And my sweet peas are climbing the trellis and blooming beautifully. By the way, I didn't lie when I said I don't have a garden in. I really don't. These came back from last year:
I love the towering trees in our front yard. They're like sentinals guarding our home:
This is why I like to hang clothes on the line. I love the view from my clothesline:
I love the look of jeans hanging on the line. These are Ben's Levis. He loves his Levis. I love the way he looks in his Levis!
My peonies are blooming! I didn't plant these. They were here when we moved in, but God bless the person who planted them. I will never again live without peonies.
And our yard is awfully pleasant in the evenings:
Ah, red begonias. How I love red begonias and asparagus fern on my front porch!
Ah, white begonias. How I love white begonias planted in a very old mop bucket!
And our front porch is a great place for little 2-year-old girls to play farm animals:
Her feet are so cute:
Clearly it makes no difference to her whether or not our house has siding on it.
Note the skinned up knees:
And the view from our front porch is quite nice.
So how do I finish saying what I want to say? So my house is old with peeling linoleum, mouse droppings, and a leaky fridge. Big deal. Why should I waste my time wanting more when I already have so much? Jealousy does nothing but make me look past the beauty I already have in my life. Time to get my focus back where it belongs. And if I'm unhappy with things like my cooking and photography skills, then I need to dig up the motivation and discipline to do something about it and learn more.
Anyway, there's lot of beauty in my life. Just wanted to share it with you.
"...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumtances..." Philippians 4:11
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